animalstalkinginallcaps:

HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY, I’M LISA. TODAY ALL OF OUR SOUP IS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE WITH YOUR SAFEWAY CLUB CARD. IT’S FREE TO SIGN UP AND YOU CAN SAVE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR OFF OUR ALREADY LOW PRICES. JUST HEAD OVER TO GUEST SERVICES AND FILL OUT OUR SIMPLE-

OR TOTALLY IGNORE ME. THAT’S COOL TOO.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY, I’M LISA. TODAY ALL OF OUR SOUP IS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE WITH YOUR SAFEWAY CLUB CARD IT’S FREE TO SIGN UP AND YOU CAN SAVE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR OFF OUR ALREADY LOW-

OR NOT. WHATEVER. THANKS FOR SHOPPING SAFEWAY. I HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE, YOU KNOW. FIFTY GRAND IN DEBT. WORKING AT THE SUPERMARKET. NO BIG DEAL.

HELLO AND WELCOME TO SAFEWAY. PLEASE KILL ME I’M LISA. TODAY ALL OF OUR SOUP IS BUY ONE GET ONE FREE WITH YOUR SAFEWAY CLUB CARD …