animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH, SURE. MAKE ME OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY HERE. I THOUGHT I’D HAVE A *COUPLE* OF LITTLE VODKAS BEFORE I CAME OVER AND SAT THROUGH GRANDMA’S RACIST MONOLOGUES AND UNCLE PAUL’S FOX NEWS TALKING POINTS. IS THAT A CRIME? AM I A CRIMINAL NOW? IS THIS THE … CRIME PLACE?

AM I EVEN AT THE RIGHT HOUSE? IT MIGHT BE ALL THE ALCOHOL BUT THE FOOD IS ACTUALLY KIND OF DELICIOUS FOR ONCE.

IF NOT, DO YOU MIND IF I STAY ANYWAY? I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE DRIVING.

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