animalstalkinginallcaps:

YOU KNOW I DON’T FIND THAT KIND OF NASTY TALK FUNNY, EARL. IT ISN’T SEXY EITHER.  I’VE GOT OVER FOUR HUNDRED ROMANTIC ADVENTURE NOVELS IN THE HALL CLOSET AND THERE’S NOT ONE DASHING HERO IN ANY OF THEM THAT USES THE KIND OF DIRTY PHRASES YOU DO. WHY CAN’T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE A GENTLEMAN?

PLUS YOU’VE NEVER SPIRITED ME AWAY FROM DANGER ON HORSEBACK. NOT ONCE.

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